Sick of Exxon 'science' and Phil Mickelson

Another Masters, another four great days of golf, and another weekend of commercials lies from ExxonMobil, as mouthed by Phil Mickelson. The info below is largely reposted, with edits, from last year.

Make me laugh: Exxon’s Math and Science Academy.

First thought: Science is about a search for fact and truth. Don’t you have to be committed to those principles to support science?

Second thought: Don’t you actually have to understand math and science, and engineering, etc., to sponsor an academy like this?

Third thought: If you are a high school science teacher, can you in good conscience take money from Exxon for this?

Foruth thought: Here’s your list of ExxonMobil course offerings:

• Stress tensile strength of single-hull tankers. See how much collision stress single-hull oil tankers can withstand. Involves combined field trips-classroom experiments on scenic Alaskan shores
• Anthropogenic effects on seashore wildlife biology habitats. Prerequisite: Course above. Study the effects of crude oil on pristine habitats. Includes additional follow-up experiments.
• Numerical literacy and difficulty in counting to 450 parts per million. Learn how numeric literacy need not include counting up to dangerously high levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide.
• Numeric literacy and counting billions of dollars. Prerequisite: Course immediately above. Learn how counting dollars donated to science-obfuscating “think tanks” obviates the illiteracy of not being able to count to 450 parts per million.

Note: Catalogue is still under discussion and formulation. Your suggestions are welcome.

New this year, as my own personal suggestion.

Phil Mickelson, STFU.