The 'full TSA' - almost the 'full Monty'

The Transportation "Security" Agency folks gave me the body frisk plus the chemical swabs of my carry-on stuff Saturday as I flew out of Midland, Texas. They double-teamed me during swabbing time, even, with a second TSAer asking me all these profiling questions. (There's no backscanners in a small airport like this — yet.)

Second, frustration at backed-up lines, especially being behind a bunch of first-time fliers, is NOT the same emotional expression as nervousness, you inaccurately profiling numbnuts.

Second, as far as profiling questions, I've been through Border Patrol checkpoints more than two dozen times. I'm plenty used to stuff like that.

Third, let's call this Reason No. 741 not to vote for our "constitutional law scholar" preznit.

Great argument against airport body scanners

Intelligent readers know, as this NYT mini-column notes, that Israel doesn't use them.

The mini-column, though, is by an Israeli security consultant. Here's more:

The current security system in which everyone is a suspect is bound to be ineffective and burdensome. No system can perform efficiently when one is looking for a needle in a haystack by checking each straw individually.

That about sums up what's wrong.

I hope that enough Americans participate in the scan opt-out Wednesday to make our airports a big clusterfuck.

Smile at the airport, or the TSA will arrest you?

No, I’m not kidding:

“Specially trained security personnel” will be watching passengers for “micro-expressions” that will reveal treacherous agendas and insidious intentions at airports around the country. These agents, who may literally hold your fate in their hands have been given a lofty, Orwellian name: “Behavior Detection Officers.”

So, you’re supposed to smile while being told your flight has been cancelled? You’re supposed to smile while standing in an hour-long line trying to book a replacement flight? You’re supposed to smile while your plane sits on the tarmac, running late, and leaving you wondering if you’ll arrive at the next airport in time to make your second flight connection?

Here’s how a scenario could play out:

Apparently, these Behavior Detection Officers work in pairs. One scenario is that an officer might move in to “help” a passenger retrieve their belongings after they’ve been screened. And then the officer will ask where the passenger is headed. If the passenger’s reaction sets off alarm bells in the officer’s well-trained mind, another officer will move in and detain them. Let’s be really clear here. If a stranger moved in on me like that, I’d tell that person to go to hell, throw in a few other expletives for good measure and probably give them the finger as I stomped off. Of course, I wouldn’t be stomping very far.

Orwellian, indeed.

What next? Do we move beyond Orwell to Huxley and “Brave New World,” with the airport thought police passing out mind-control happy pills? Free Prozac with your in-flight pretzels and peanuts?