Dan Patrick, aka The Stinking Anglo Formerly Known as Danny Goeb™, said that he thought all of the alleged juvenile illegals, or Ill Eagles, were actually adults, probably midgets, in the youngest ages, but that adults could look like 10-year-olds.
"Everybody knows that Mexicans are all short, as well as stinky," he said.
Greg Abbott, continuing to remember that he has not a Mexican,
but a Mexican-American wife, said that legal entry into the United
States made Mexican-Americans taller and cleaner. He also denied that he
was using Ill Eagles to dig the conservation-evading water well on his
Austin lawn even deeper.
Ken Paxton said that the new criminal ethics complaint filed against him
was obviously an attempt to undermine his planned new
get-tough-on-illegals policy. He also denied that he had formed a
limited partnership company to trade in employment futures of Ill
Eagles.
Rick Perry said he was naming Sean Hannity an honorary brigadier
general in the Texas National Guard. Actual illegal immigrants, knowing
that, even for a wingnut, Hannity can't shoot straight, uttered a
collective "Nemo problemo!"
Wendy Davis, stealing a page from Poppy Bush as she continued moving further to the right, promised "kinder, gentler border toughness" if elected governor. She then, in a further bid to keep from fading into irrelevance, said she would allow rich Ill Eagles to cross the border, if they would give her campaign $5,000 and then do five weeks of unpaid volunteer work.
David Dewhurst started thinking silently to himself that he might just have been lucky to lose the Lite Guv primary to The Stinking Anglo Formerly Known as Danny Goeb™. He then checked to make sure the Ill Eagles had mowed the greens at River Oaks Country Club.
Joe Straus, remembering that his ancestors had escaped from Beyond the Pale, kept relatively quiet for other reasons.
David Alameel said that he would spend "whatever it takes" to secure the border if he were elected to the Senate. But, he denied contributing funds to the Dallas Diocese of the Republic of Texas in the past.
Ted Cruz
said freeing right-wing repression in a Hispanic country was far different than fleeing left-wing repression in a Hispanic country. Canadian Bacon™ then said that Cubans, unlike Mexicans, never stank.
John Cornyn muttered some senseless shit in another attempt to be as much of a wingnut as Cruz.
Louie Gohmert was strangely quiet, leaving seasoned observers to think he was going to trump everybody else's nutbar level sometime next week.
Davis and Alameel then looked around at being on a list of Republicans and shrugged their shoulders.
Showing posts with label Alameel (David). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alameel (David). Show all posts
May 30, 2014
Texas early post-runoff election rumors
Kinky Friedman, moving from campaigner to general gadabout (for now), has reportedly borrowed an idea from Dan Patrick for his latest border-patrolling idea. Rather than "Five Mexican generals" being bribed to patrol the border better, it's "Five Mexican generals with bars of Ivory Soap" to keep out stinky Ill Eagles. A Texas Ranger will patrol for stinky Mexicans already here and report direct to The Stinking Anglo Formerly Known as Danny Goeb™. (Feel free to borrow.)
Joe Straus reportedly has bought a tranquilizer gun and Taser, and they're both located under the Speaker of the House's podium, within easy reach, just in case possible future Lt. Gov. Danny Goeb needs to be "managed" if he's ever in the Texas House. There's no word if he has a psychiatrist on cellphone speed dial.
Patrick, meanwhile, would reportedly set strict conditions on debating Democratic lite guv opponent Leticia Van de Putte. He allegedly would ask her to pass a "clean Mexican aroma test." Mental health issues were not going to be allowed to be part of any debate, he allegedly said.
Van de Putte, meanwhile, was rumored to be taking a page from LBJ's famous 1964 campaign against Barry Goldwater, namely, a slogan: "In your guts, you know he's nuts."
David Alameel may have been overheard saying that he would spend "whatever it takes" to not lose to John Cornyn by more than 15 percentage points.
Ken Paxton allegedly decided he would take Alameel's self-financing Senate campaign one better in his run for state AG. There were rumors he was discussing setting up a private trading site where he could sell investment shares in his campaign.
Greg Abbott denied rumors that The Stinking Anglo Formerly Known as Danny Goeb™ had asked if the wife that Abbott had recently discovered to be Mexican-American stank. He also denied rumors that he threatened to run over The Stinking Anglo with his wheelchair if The Stinking Anglo ever talked about his wife again.
Joe Straus reportedly has bought a tranquilizer gun and Taser, and they're both located under the Speaker of the House's podium, within easy reach, just in case possible future Lt. Gov. Danny Goeb needs to be "managed" if he's ever in the Texas House. There's no word if he has a psychiatrist on cellphone speed dial.
Patrick, meanwhile, would reportedly set strict conditions on debating Democratic lite guv opponent Leticia Van de Putte. He allegedly would ask her to pass a "clean Mexican aroma test." Mental health issues were not going to be allowed to be part of any debate, he allegedly said.
Van de Putte, meanwhile, was rumored to be taking a page from LBJ's famous 1964 campaign against Barry Goldwater, namely, a slogan: "In your guts, you know he's nuts."
David Alameel may have been overheard saying that he would spend "whatever it takes" to not lose to John Cornyn by more than 15 percentage points.
Ken Paxton allegedly decided he would take Alameel's self-financing Senate campaign one better in his run for state AG. There were rumors he was discussing setting up a private trading site where he could sell investment shares in his campaign.
Greg Abbott denied rumors that The Stinking Anglo Formerly Known as Danny Goeb™ had asked if the wife that Abbott had recently discovered to be Mexican-American stank. He also denied rumors that he threatened to run over The Stinking Anglo with his wheelchair if The Stinking Anglo ever talked about his wife again.
February 15, 2014
Your week in Texas politics — #WendyDavis and #DavidAlameel
This was going to be an all-Davis roundup, with focus on her "new
political position of the day," until David Alameel knocks her off the
top.
How's that? I want to know what Daddy Warbucks of the Democratic Senate race was doing in Afghanistan and why. I also want to know when the lamestream media is going to actually start asking questions of him and about him.
Don't worry, Davis gets plenty of airplay after this.
Her sudden support for gay marriage raises several questions. As does her latest statements on abortion and marijuana. Behind those, ultimately, lies the issue of the packaging of a candidate. Tying these threads together, the "packaging" issues first really arose with her endorsement of Alameel.
Also behind the packaging lies "control" issues, of which she has a long history.
Through all of this, has Davis' hitting of the "reset" button on her campaign this past week done enough to right the ship? Feel free to vote in the poll at top right on general election predictions.
How's that? I want to know what Daddy Warbucks of the Democratic Senate race was doing in Afghanistan and why. I also want to know when the lamestream media is going to actually start asking questions of him and about him.
Don't worry, Davis gets plenty of airplay after this.
Her sudden support for gay marriage raises several questions. As does her latest statements on abortion and marijuana. Behind those, ultimately, lies the issue of the packaging of a candidate. Tying these threads together, the "packaging" issues first really arose with her endorsement of Alameel.
Also behind the packaging lies "control" issues, of which she has a long history.
Through all of this, has Davis' hitting of the "reset" button on her campaign this past week done enough to right the ship? Feel free to vote in the poll at top right on general election predictions.
February 14, 2014
Was #DavidAlameel a CIA agent? Or breaking the law?
As the mystery of why Wendy Davis endorsed David Alameel still is unresolved (I'm sorry, both Davis and Alameel are prolifers, so it is resolved) there's another mystery about the Man of Mystery (and Man of Much Money) running for the Democratic nomination for the U.S. Senate here in the Abandoned Pointy Object State.
And, that, via one of his primary opponents, Michael Fjetland, is what the hell was he doing in Afghanistan in 2001?
Here's the full book, "Delivering Osama," on Google Books. (No Amazon listing, so it's off the mainstream.) Its co-author, M. Kabir Mohabbat, lived in Houston until his death not too long after the book was written. This issue already started getting airplay on the Great Orange Satan 2 weeks ago. I find even less on Google about the other co-author, Leah McInnis.
The gist of the book is that Alameel was part of some group of Americans, many of whom were, like him, foreign-born from somewhere in the greater Middle East, talking to representatives of the Afghan government, which was at that time ...
The Taliban!
And, not on occasion, but ...
Regularly!
As in once a month, in 2000, and allegedly violating sanctions against the Taliban government in so doing.
Why?
Supposedly, the Taliban agreed to dump Osama bin Laden in a fake safe house and the Americans could then knock him off. However, after three or four such offers, the American government, by this time in 2001 under Shrub but before 9/11, wouldn't do it.
So, on exactly what authority, or lack of authority, was Alameel there? If it wasn't under any official authority from Washington, but it was a quasi-official discussion with official Afghan governmental representatives, then he presumably committed a federal felony by violating the Logan Act.
This is a huge 'nother reason to make sure he doesn't advance to the presumed runoff round for the Senate nomination. This particular issue is another reason to dig, dig, dig on Alameel, something the lamestream media here in Texas have shown a particular disinclination to do. That digging would not only keep him out of the runoff, but mark him as purely a fringe Moneybags candidate from here on out.
Until the likes of Wayne Slater actually start doing a real job on investigating David Alameel, then, the rest of us will just have to fill in the blanks.
So, per Fahrenheit 9/11, maybe Alameel had connections with Unocal? Maybe he had some sort of weird connections with Ross Perot on some hostage rescue? Some Ahmed Chalabi-type neocon "player"? I don't know.
You tell us, David Alameel.
Or, Wayne Slater, Peggy Fikac, or Jonathan Tilove, YOU tell us. This is your job. Stop being the Texas Green Party.
And, that, via one of his primary opponents, Michael Fjetland, is what the hell was he doing in Afghanistan in 2001?
Here's the full book, "Delivering Osama," on Google Books. (No Amazon listing, so it's off the mainstream.) Its co-author, M. Kabir Mohabbat, lived in Houston until his death not too long after the book was written. This issue already started getting airplay on the Great Orange Satan 2 weeks ago. I find even less on Google about the other co-author, Leah McInnis.
The gist of the book is that Alameel was part of some group of Americans, many of whom were, like him, foreign-born from somewhere in the greater Middle East, talking to representatives of the Afghan government, which was at that time ...
The Taliban!
And, not on occasion, but ...
Regularly!
As in once a month, in 2000, and allegedly violating sanctions against the Taliban government in so doing.
Why?
Supposedly, the Taliban agreed to dump Osama bin Laden in a fake safe house and the Americans could then knock him off. However, after three or four such offers, the American government, by this time in 2001 under Shrub but before 9/11, wouldn't do it.
So, on exactly what authority, or lack of authority, was Alameel there? If it wasn't under any official authority from Washington, but it was a quasi-official discussion with official Afghan governmental representatives, then he presumably committed a federal felony by violating the Logan Act.
This is a huge 'nother reason to make sure he doesn't advance to the presumed runoff round for the Senate nomination. This particular issue is another reason to dig, dig, dig on Alameel, something the lamestream media here in Texas have shown a particular disinclination to do. That digging would not only keep him out of the runoff, but mark him as purely a fringe Moneybags candidate from here on out.
Until the likes of Wayne Slater actually start doing a real job on investigating David Alameel, then, the rest of us will just have to fill in the blanks.
So, per Fahrenheit 9/11, maybe Alameel had connections with Unocal? Maybe he had some sort of weird connections with Ross Perot on some hostage rescue? Some Ahmed Chalabi-type neocon "player"? I don't know.
You tell us, David Alameel.
Or, Wayne Slater, Peggy Fikac, or Jonathan Tilove, YOU tell us. This is your job. Stop being the Texas Green Party.
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