Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and the end of an era

Red Shirt and Philly Mick are now in the golf history books in a new way.

At the Open at Royal Portrush, for the first time in 83 majors they were both entered into, they both missed the cut. That said, it wouldn't surprise me if it is not the only one in the next three years, even.

Phil's floundering and who knows where his arthritis is at. Tiger we know is a gimpy old man.

So, it also wouldn't surprise me one bit, despite the Woodsaholics and Tiger fellators, is if they're permanently capped at 15 majors and 5, respectively.

Ian O'Connor at ESPN fellated the hell out of Tiger Thursday, making a pun on Portrush being "no country for old men," which I easily refuted:

Oh, Ian, your attempt at metaphor-pun aside, Portrush was INDEED "a country for old men." Just not Red Shirt Tiger.
Darren Clarke, 50, even.
Ernie Els, 49, even.
Lee Westwood, 46, -3.
Henrik Stenson, 43, -1.
Just stop the Tiger Woods fellating, Ian.

— reallyDonaldTrump  🚩🌻 (@AFCC_Esq) July 19, 2019

Dave Shedloski, while not fellating Red Shirt as much as O'Connor, bad enough, claiming the weather is the only reason Tiger didn't do better in non-Augusta majors this year.

No, not really.

The real reasons are twofold.

One is that Eduardo Molinari and Brooks Koepka, both of whom know better, yakked away the 12th hole on Sunday at Augusta. The toooneyment was given to Tiger as much as  he won it, arguably.

Second, the reason Tiger did better at Augusta is that it's the first major of the year. Once the golf season gets rolling after that, the new schedule of a major a month simply will not accommodate Tiger if he's not playing at least a little bit in between, no matter the weather. (So, just as The Masters DID Tiger-proof Augusta National, if only to make it lefty-friendly, per Hank Haney, the PGA Tour and the FedEx pot of gold have Tiger-proofed the tour schedule, I guess.)

And, per Woods' comments about his 2018 schedule being too much, don't expect a lot of changes in 2020.

As I told O'Connor, the same to Shedloski. Tiger ain't winning anywhere else on majors, and he ain't winning three more, let alone four more times at Augusta National.

So put away this "he could still pass Jack" bullshit as the bullshit it is. Hell, contra Shedloski, I'm not sure Tiger passes Sam Snead's career wins record.

And, the winner of the 2014 Masters is?

Semi-regular and regular readers here know that I'm somewhat of a golf fan. I definitely follow the four majors, keep 3/4 of an eye on the FedEx and Ryder cups, and have been for decades.

The first major I remember was the 1975 Masters, where Jack Nicklaus held off Johnny Miller and Tom Weiskopf (possibly the best 1-major winner ever) by a stroke. Dan Jenkins (who else) had a great piece for Sports Illustrated. It's so good there's even a book about it.

We do know one thing — Tiger Woods won't be winning this one.

And, not only does his back injury and surgery lengthen the odds of him catching Nicklaus' 18 majors, his shot at another Jack record is also in trouble.

Nicklaus finished in the top 10 in at least one major a year for 22 straight. Tiger's been doing it himself since 1997, but obviously, in a worse-case scenario, he's out of both Opens and has only the PGA to try.

So, who will win it?

I think Phil Mickelson is still iffy, due to his own back concerns. Scratch him.

Almost nobody repeats at Augusta; besides Tiger and Jack, Nick Faldo's the only one to do it, so scratch Adam Scott.

I'm looking for somebody with experience, too, so scratch the young guns.

I'm looking for a European to do it this year.

Maybe a Spaniard.

No, not you, Miguel Angel Jimenez.

As much for drama as for possibility ...

Step on down, Sergio Garcia!

Seriously, he's vastly stepped up his putter work the last 18 months. That's key to Augusta.

Second, his head seems to be in at least a halfway good place.

And, third, beyond those realities, it would make a great story. It's a good story for him, and he would be the first Spaniard to win a major since the death of Seve Ballesteros.

If you give me two other options, both for story lines as well as realities, I'll take Henrik Stenson and Ernie Els.

Stenson winning puts Swedish men's golf on the map, and puts Swedish golf in general back on the map, where it's been missing since the retirement of Annika Sörenstam.

Els? Gets his fifth major, his coveted green jacket, and his third leg of the career Grand Slam, all to keep pace with Phil after the Mick won the Open last year.

I'm ruling out Jason Day for reasons similar to Mickelson. I don't think that thumb is 100 percent yet.

PGA: It's still 'Glory's Last Shot,' but who will win?

I don't care if Tim Finchen pushed the PGA to shit-can the title, and I don't care if it's only 15 years old.

Before the FedEx Cup, which is what Timmeh is worried about, it WAS "Glory's Last Shot," a fitting title for golf's last major tournament of the year.

That said, who's going to win it?

NOT Tiger Woods.

Yes, it was when he was between Butch Harmon and Hank Haney, but he had his worst performance ever in a major here in the 2003 PGA. (Oops, I'm sorry. It WAS his worst, until this year's U.S. Open.)

Add in that he was complaining about the greens earlier, and that he's now saying that it doesn't take a win at a major to make it a great year for him, and we can write him off.

Philly Mick? Write off his performance at Firestone; that track's never hugely favored him. He's a sentimental favorite, and being a lefty, may get a different perspective on a couple of those strong doglegs on longer par-4s. He's also using the no-driver and five-wedge bag that got him the win at Muirfield and oh-so-close at Merion.

It wouldn't surprise me, at the least.

Adam Scott? Had a solid PGA in 2011. Won this year's Master's and was in the hunt at the other two majors. Besides Phil, he's the one other golfer with a serious chance to unseat Tiger.

But, we've had a lot of first-time winners recently.

And, it's time for another "breakthrough" player, but not a fluke.

So, why not Jason Day?

I almost nailed the Open, taking a mix of Luke Donald and Lee Westwood, with Westwood ending as runner-up.

So, I offer the threesome mix above, as an odds-on Cerberus to win.

===

And, Tiger looked like he was headed for glory, until he chunked a double bogey on No. 9, his last hole for the day and what's playing as second-toughest so far. He's in at +1.

Hah! He does it again. Bogey on 18 to close round 2. He's even for the round and still +1 for the tournament, with Scott at -7, Rose at -6 and Day at -2. Of course, Philly Mick is also at +1. Too bad he came in much sooner, or Tiger could challenge him by being paired with him.

So, Woodsaholics? Time to head back again to your golfing 12-step program. May be a "great" year for TW, by his own words, but it's gonna be yet another majorless one.

And, I know Tiger's got five non-majors wins this year, but ... there may be one particular reason Scott's now often playing better than him at the big time.

No sympathy for Phil Mickelson

First of all, I just have to "love" whichever golf scribe talked about the "working class people" at Merion for the US Open were supporting the non-working class Phil Mickelson.

First, Ardmore, Pa., home of Merion Golf Club, ain't close to "working class."

Second, "working class" people don't normally have the ducats for US Open tickets. (The whole issue of live sports tickets outpacing the rate of inflation is a separate topic all its own.)

Realistically, even a Jason Duffner isn't of "working class" background. That's part of why John Daly had his appeal for so many, though. Not for me; blow your life like that, you lose sympathy, too. It's too bad there's no Lee Trevino. Notah Begay, if he'd win a few, would have a chance at that.

Second of all, the dude's got money to fly back on a fractionally-owned private jet or whatever for his daughter's eighth-grade graduation. Yes, good family man, but back to the money. (The whole subject of proliferating graduations at different elementary grades is also a topic all its own.)

Third, Phil whiffed.

It began on 18 on Saturday. He should have hit his 2-wood, or whatever his longest non-driver wood in his bag was, off the tee and not that 4-wood. That leaves him an iron to the green, biting on the green more. He gains an extra stroke there, potentially. I assume that, with my scenario, he gets a par instead of his actual bogey.

Then, "Mr. Wedges" blows two wedge shots, the first badly at 13 on Sunday.

He caps it by criticizing the USGA for its length on one of the long par 3s when he knew the day might be windy, with the wind in his face on that hole, and he chose not to play driver Sunday, but rather, five wedges.

I actually was kind of liking the possibility of him winning, just to see if, with the career Grand Slam then within his sights, he'd change how he approached the British Open.

And, while I like to watch at least the four majors, I actually relate less to golfers as people than I do in most sports. They're definitely more conservative than the national average, among other things. The only blessing is that most of them don't claim Jeebus wanted them to win, when they do.

A couple of other thoughts.

Yeah, I thought Merion would be easier than it was, but I certainly wasn't alone.

That said, I did not join the majority of golf's punditocracy in saying this course shaped up well for Tiger Woods. Frankly, I expected him to have as much, if not more, problems with finding the rough as he actually did.

As for why Phil can't win at the US Open? Cracking wise about his wedge play aside, it's his putter, in my opinion. Yeah, he's won three times at Augusta, but the Masters, while it welcomes a good putter, doesn't require it, especially if one has a good short game.

I just don't think Phil is the greatest putter, or the greatest reader of greens in general.

Looking ahead to Muirfield and the British?

First, I don't expect Tiger to do well there, either. So, Tigerholics, too bad.

I'm going to go out on a limb. The first two majors have featured "nice guy" winners.

So, if you'll allow me two options, I'll take either Lee Westwood or Luke Donald there.

Will Philly Mick hit World No. 1?

Phil Mickelson's moving to the world's No. 1 golf ranking is all in his control. (It is for Lee Westwood, too.)

I will hate having to eat my hat if he pulls it off, but maybe he can. But, I doubt it. He's eight strokes off the pace, with good golfers a-plenty ahead of him.

There's other Masters scenarios, too. Geoff Ogilvy is in good position to exorcise the ghosts of Greg Norman and become the first Aussie to win at Augusta.

Fred Couples could be the oldster who finally defies Father Time at a major. That said, I wouldn't hold my breath on it, sadly.

As for the finale?

Phil paired with Tiger Woods in the last pairing on Sunday could be great. So could Tiger vs. Y.E. Yang in a reply of the 2009 PGA. And, so could Phil and Lee.

I'd love to see Rory win. Or Luke Donald, just to put yet another, and unexpected, name and face atop the world rankings.

Early thoughts on The Masters

I agree with Bob Harig; it's clear that Tiger-proofing Augusta hasn't just hurt Tiger. But, that was Tiger post-2006, not Tiger post-2009. (Oh, and you other golfers? Stop whining so much. The idea of anybody, in general, hitting wedges into hole after hole on par-4? Bleech.) The current Tiger Woods, Vegas odds possibilities aside, can't be the favorite this year. No matter the naive casual golf fan's puppy-dog love for TW. Nor can the struggling Phil Mickelson, with his variety of issues.

That includes the fact that Mickelson still can't get past Tiger in world ranking.

So, who is a "possibility"?

Despite a bit of relative mediocreness the last couple of weeks, Martin Kaymer has to be ranked high. Dustin Johnson, despite his issue in last year's majors. Graeme McDowell might bounce back from his recent struggles.

Three weeks ago, I would have said Vijay Singh could represent the old-timers' brigade, but not any more.

I'll throw out Bubba Watson and Hunter Mahan as two other "names."

And, there's a good interactive on Augusta here.

Tiger Woods could fall to No. 3!!!

Been a while since this happened, but, if Martin Kaymer wins in Dubai tomorrow, he vaults past Tiger into No. 2 in the world rankings behind Lee Westwood. Given that he has a five-shot lead after three rounds, the tournament is his for the taking.

And, since Westwood is 19 shots off the pace, his reign as No. 1 may not last too long.

Phil Mickelson? Almost as far back as Westwood.

Update: It's official, as Kaymer smokes the field for an eight-shot win. It seriously would not at all surprise me for him to hit No. ! by the time of the U.S. Open. Philly Mick falls from T-4 to 5 and pooh-poohs it, talking about majors. Well, Phil, outside the Masters ,you have sucked, by and large, and you fade at the end of seasons anyway.

Also, I think McElroy's second place may have him in the world top 10 now.

Your 2011 golf No. 1 is .... ?

The way I see it, five golfers have a realistic shot at eh World No. 1 next year — Westwood, Woods, Mickelson, Kaymer and McDowell. The question is, how many will hold the honor, if only for one week, and who will hold it the most?

At ESPN, Bob Harig offers his take on who's most likely to break out. He and Jason Sobel devote an Alternate Shot duo column to more on this issue as well as other 2011 predictions.

My prediction? Everybody but Philly Mick will get it for at least a week, but he will continue to find ways not to. And Westwood will have the most weeks overall.

Let me have your thoughts in the polls at right.

Harig then discusses Tiger's 2011 possibilities.

Meanwhile, both Harig and Sobel offer their predictions about some up-and-comers.

Tiger apologizes for ‘transgressions’

And, for hurting his family, etc.,
“all indications that he did, apparently, have his pants down with someone not his wife.

Except, that person may not be the daytime-appearances hostess in New York, Rachel Uchitel, but instead, Jaimee Grubbs, an L.A. cocktail waitress. But Grubbs may not be the only one; the New York Post said a woman named Kalika Moquin had also come forward.

At Yahoo, Dan Wetzel likes the apology, but, rips Tiger a new one for bashing the celebrity culture from which he has profited. And, manipulated — Wetzel notes that Team Tiger got National Enquirer to kill a 2007 story. So, like Clinton, or Michael Jordan, even after time to straighten up, he didn’t.

Bring on Family Man Philly Mick!

Tiger vs Phil will have whole new angle in 2010

With the rumors that Tigers Woods was cheating on his wife,now followed by him entirely ducking the tournament, as host, not just as player, and, rumors that he could be subject to a police search warrant, the Tiger Woods vs. Phil Mickelson story lines for 2010 will take a whole new angle.

Philly Mick will still refuse to put in the gym work that Tiger does. He'll never, unlike Vijay Singh, topple Tiger from No. 1 on the world rankings.

But, No. 1 on the fan list? Quite possible. With him taking a sabbatical last year to support his wife's battle against breast cancer, Mickelson has a distinct lead over Tiger on "Mr. Family Man" honors.

Get to a place like Augusta National Country Club in April, you may well see, and hear, a change of momentum in the galleries.

Did Philly Mick choke at Bethpage?

I’d agree with Jeff Passan; that’s a big yes.

Beyond choking itself, as Passan notes, you have his “oh, well” statements after he was done.

Then, as I note, you have his pledge every year to do more in the way of conditioning, then by summer, we see that he’s never come close to matching Tiger, or Vijay Singh, or others, in that effort.

Yeah, he should have half a dozen majors, at least.

But, as I already told a friend of mine a year ago… after his Whiff at Winged Foot, he’ll never win another. And you can make book on that.

Sick of Exxon 'science' and Phil Mickelson

Another Masters, another four great days of golf, and another weekend of commercials lies from ExxonMobil, as mouthed by Phil Mickelson. The info below is largely reposted, with edits, from last year.

Make me laugh: Exxon’s Math and Science Academy.

First thought: Science is about a search for fact and truth. Don’t you have to be committed to those principles to support science?

Second thought: Don’t you actually have to understand math and science, and engineering, etc., to sponsor an academy like this?

Third thought: If you are a high school science teacher, can you in good conscience take money from Exxon for this?

Foruth thought: Here’s your list of ExxonMobil course offerings:

• Stress tensile strength of single-hull tankers. See how much collision stress single-hull oil tankers can withstand. Involves combined field trips-classroom experiments on scenic Alaskan shores
• Anthropogenic effects on seashore wildlife biology habitats. Prerequisite: Course above. Study the effects of crude oil on pristine habitats. Includes additional follow-up experiments.
• Numerical literacy and difficulty in counting to 450 parts per million. Learn how numeric literacy need not include counting up to dangerously high levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide.
• Numeric literacy and counting billions of dollars. Prerequisite: Course immediately above. Learn how counting dollars donated to science-obfuscating “think tanks” obviates the illiteracy of not being able to count to 450 parts per million.

Note: Catalogue is still under discussion and formulation. Your suggestions are welcome.

New this year, as my own personal suggestion.

Phil Mickelson, STFU.