January 21, 2014

Patterson mixes Alamo with appeal to "Tejanos"

Why do I say exactly that about Texas Republican Lite Guv candidate Jerry Patterson? Because he doesn't use the word "Hispanic" or "Latino," but rather, "Tejano," in this press release email, and that's not all:
Today, Jerry Patterson launched "Tejanos for Patterson," a group comprised of Texans locally and statewide who support Jerry Patterson's candidacy for Lt. Governor.
So, is he filming an announcement on Alamo grounds?

Anyway, next comes a bit of untruth.
"Tejanos represent over 1/4 of all the eligible voters in Texas. Most embrace conservative values. They should be Republicans," said Jerry Patterson, candidate for Lt. Governor. "That's why I'm launching Tejanos for Patterson. It is important for all Hispanics, or Tejanos, as they've proudly called themselves, to know that their voice is not only welcomed here, but sorely needed. My campaign is focused on including all Texans."
Really, on the conservative values? Then why do they consistently lean Democrat in voting?  And, do that many Hispanics in general, or Mexican-Americans in particular, really call themselves "Tejano"? I think that's three lemons, or three noes, Jerry!

And, I wasn't joking about the Alamo part.

Jerry gets some b-roll Alamo (or perhaps San Jacinto, but let's still pretend it's the Alamo) footage in his video of the announcement. Unfortunately, no pix of him unstrapping his hogleg from inside his boot, while at the Shrine of Texas Mythology:

Hey, I guess giving us a laugh factor helps us non-GOPers get entertained by the Repubs in the Lite Guv primary, what with the weird psyches of Dudley Dewless and the Three Blind Mice.

That said, I do know a reason why he uses that particular word. Due to the GOP's voter ID law, panty-knotting worries over voter fraud by illegal immigrants, more panty-knotting worries about keeping a brown tide on the other side of the border, etc., Jerry can't appeal to "Hispanics" or "Latinos" without coming under the guns of Dewless and the other two of the Blind Mice as being soft on immigration.

I also know why there's no footage of him whipping out his pistol. A Mexican-American seeing a batshit-crazy white man talking about "Tejano" while he waves a gun is going to quickly be running like hell.

Besides, with the Alamo and concealed handguns? We know what's really behind that: Texas tiny-penis syndrome, something that infects about three-quarters of the likes of Jerry Patterson, I do believe.

More seriously? If he wants to make a real appeal to Tejanos? Jerry should support the school funding lawsuit.

Back to the Alamo schtick, though. At times, I wish a Texas wing of al Qaeda would blow the damned thing up.

I remember the first time I visited San Antonio. The John Wayne movie had me prepared for something about three times as big as reality. And that's the problem.

And, arguably, since the tiny-penis syndrome at San Jacinto was deliberately built taller than the Washington Monument, it, too, is some sort of Shrine to Texas Mythology, is it not?

I've been to Sonoma, where California's brief Bear Flag Republic was started. (California was one of three states besides Texas — ignore history that claims Texas was one of two states — to be an independent republic before joining the United States, along with Vermont and Hawaii.) There's a tasteful, reasonably-scaled monument on the courthouse square.


PDiddie said...

I think those are images from the San Jacinto monument, FWIW. Which is funny because, you know, we got our asses kicked in San Antone but took payback outside Houston.

And if there turns out to be a Hell, you're going to it for that last line.

Gadfly said...

I'll take the Hell risk.

And, hmm, maybe you're right on the footage, which would be funnier yet, in a sense. Has he ever "whipped it out" at San Jacinto like at the Alamo?

And, that's why I just assumed it was the Alamo, especially with the update I added about a gun-waving Patterson scaring the typical "Tejano."