Kaep is going to the bank and laughing all the way, not the Saints, Steelers or any other NFL team

After it was revealed a few weeks ago that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger needed Tommy John surgery and would miss all of this year, a number of folks had an alternative idea for them, instead of relying on untested Mason Rudolph.

And that was to sign Colin Kaepernick, two-plus years of rust, overrated reputation as a quarterback, and all.

Look, I get it. Kaep is a fun tool to beat both the No Fun League and mouth-breathing, Trump Train riding Neanderthals over the head. But, he's no replacement for Big Ben.

And, he's even less a replacement for Saints quarterback Drew Brees for a 6-8 week vacancy; that's just stupid.

First, Kaep is not in game shape. Minimum of two weeks on the purely physical side, no matter how much he's been working out, and more than that on game mindset and learning the offense side.

Beyond that, Teddy Bridgewater is. even if a less than decent quarterback in his short-term replacement of Brees so far, a  non-disaster QB who is in both game and game mindset shape right now.

I mean, the Colts had time before the season started, when Andrew Luck announced his retirement, to sign Kaep. They went with backup Jacoby Brissett.

All of this assumes that Kaep actually wants back in the NFL. Despite the words of his lawyer-agent, Mark Geragos, last seen being indicted for some of Michael Avenatti's shakedowns of Nike — and hold on to that thought — there's no indication he actually wants to play NFL football.

Look, dude had been out of football two years this spring, and then, when low-budget Alliance of American Football was interested, he asked for $20 million. Dude, entire arena league TEAMS didn't have $20M in guaranteed roster money. The starting salary is $80K. An average of $150K times 40 players is $6 million.

So, you're a poseur. Let's be honest.

And, I think Kaep knows this; this wasn't a good-faith ask. It's good posturing if nothing else. Make a semi-outlandish demand and watch nobody give you an offer. I mean, Nike's $5M a year without NFL-sized medical bills is not shabby.

Or, if we compare it to his earnings before his contract restructure, it's $5M (my guess) vs $7M.

And, no, that's not outrageous as a guess as to what Kaepernick makes from Nike. Charles Robinson of Yahoo Sports, who knows a little about the pro world, says "millions ... plus royalties." LeBron's lifetime deal with Nike is reportedly a cool $1 billion. Odell Beckham Jr. is raking $5M a year from Nike. And Kyle Kuzma, with less star power than OBJ, just signed a deal with Puma, a company with less star power than Nike, for 5 years and at least $20 million, plus incentives.

And Kaep's "Dream Crazy" ad from a year ago just won an Emmy. That will goose the royalties, and it already did; sales surged in the days after the ad.

Nike's stock surged this summer; surged $3 billion after Kaep called out its Betsy Ross shoe.

So why would he honestly want to come back?

Kaep has two years of not taking shots from defensive ends and linebackers. He might enjoy staying pain-free.

Or, he might say that, rather than being rusty, he's fresh. With the league doubling down again on mobile QBs like Lamar Jackson, he should be hired.

So, how would you rank him against current QBs?

My take, based on a mix of:
1. Overall QB physical skills
2. Overall QB athleticism
3. Overall QB decision making and leadership

AND ... based on where Kaep was at when he was last active —

I rank clearly ahead of him
1. Tom Brady
2. Aaron Rodgers
3. Big Ben
4. Russell Wilson
5. Patrick Mahomes
6. Brees
7. Cam Newton

Four of those eight are fairly long in the tooth, of course. A couple are very long.

BUT.

And a big fat BUT.

Kaep's tryout — two punkings passing in the night

Both the NFL and Kaepernick's representation, arguably, had reasons to be wary of each other at the tryout that wasn't.  Overall, the NFL's actions look worse by a 2-1 margin, on my quick take to this excellent long read from ESPN by Howard Bryant.

First, I didn't know that, while still with the Niners, Kaep opted out of an NFLPA league-player-wide licensing deal. That's one reason the players' union hasn't been hotly in his corner over the past two-plus years.

So, that's the lead-up to the event.

The event itself? As Bryant notes, without the face of Goodell himself on it, it looked sucky. It looked like Goodell was trying to have his cake and eat it, too. That's even more true when the Shield's office wouldn't tell Kaep what teams were interested and then, after promising him not to leak any news to teams, leaked to the media. It's triply true when no "name" individual teams — or "name" owners Jethro Jerry Jones and Orchids of BDS Bob Kraft — would publicly sign off.

At the same time, some of Kaep's mistrust went too far. Bryant notes that the league offered to let him sit in on video editing, and with the Fritz Pollard Alliance in the room. But Kaep still wanted to film his own, and to livestream. That, in turn, was facilitated by his desire to throw to his own receivers. Understandable, as he was still rusty. But, at the same time, playing soft-toss with hand-picked homies and with no pass rush isn't that much of a test.

The NFL's request for a waiver, team Kaep's desire to modify it, the modification going slowly? That's on both sides.

The NFL fumbling the aftermath is all on it.

Kaep still speaking only through his team, even on this story and with an insightful reporter like Bryant? That's all on Kaep.

And, as far as future barriers? There was some talk of Kaep doing something similar at next year's combine, first issued by Kaep's agent, Jeff Nalley. He says he doesn't want to upstage collegians.

Is it that, or he doesn't want to put himself in a tryout he can't totally control? As for the winter meetings? Owners and GMs are there to set rules for next year and decide on free agency and trade moves in light of their cap situation. Not to evaluate anybody. Kaep surely knows that too.

Is he overpricing himself? Or is it part of the marketing?

For Kaep to generate full bang for the Nike buck, especially with the lawsuit settlement this spring, he has to stay in the limelight, including the NFL rejection limelight.

Actually competing for a job without $20 million guaranteed would have limelight at first, but then, with actual rust, questionable reads of coverage patterns, and flinching in the face of a blitz or three, the reality gets exposed to everybody but the Kool-Aid drinkers.

So, Kaep "overprices" himself to make sure no NFL team makes him an offer.

And, as a result, he remains "rejected."

He gets help with that by ... let's go there ... NFL house Negro Jay-Z calling him out. Lather.Rinse.Repeat.

But that $20M ain't happening in the real world.

So, that's part 1.

Kaepernick has been, beyond his Black Lives Matter activism, a nice sledgehammer to beat over the head of Roger Goodell, more curmudgeonly members of the NFL ownership club and MAGA hat wearing fans. But, is he "all that" as a QB? Well, maybe he never was. Better than Joe Flacco but behind DangeRuss. About midway between the two, in fact.

Let's also not forget that Kaep agreed to a contract restructuring and bet on himself as a player, outside of #TakeAKnee. That gives a heads-up to The Undefeated's Bomani Jones, talking about Kaep's sacrifices.

Didn't the Niners actually fire him?

Nope. Now, they would have cut him, had he not agreed to that contract restructuring. And, they would have been smart to do so! 

He had had three straight years of decline after 2012. By 2015, he was average at best as a passer in today's NFL. Completion percentage under 60 percent. Less than 7 yards per attempt. Quarterback rating under 80.

He also missed half of 2015 due to injuries. That's the other reason the Niners wanted him to renegotiate. They wanted to reduce their injury money exposure.

BUT?

His contract didn't end in 2016. He had a player option for 2017, and he opted out. In case you wonder, he was the 17th-best quarterback in the league, by ranking (the regular one, not ESPN's, as I refuse to use their special rankings in all sports). Oh, the year before, at his nadir? 31st.

So, no, the Niners didn't fire him, and the likes of Mike Florio at Pro Football Talk are liars.

Beyond that, claims about his original six-year deal? Largely inflated. Truth here.

As for why nobody signed him after 2016? There may have been some collusion, per the lawsuit. There may also have been Kaep WAY overpricing himself, just like him allegedly wanting $20 million to play indoor league football.

Related in a sense? Kaepernick was in talks for his SPAC, a special purpose acquisitions corporation, to acquire the Change Co. That fell through — just a month ago — because he didn't want to do in-person PR, for various reasons. More here. Before the deal fell through, it's interesting that investment funds for Serena Williams and Oprah Winfrey, among others, took a pass.

In other words?

Per old friend Idries Shah ... "there are more than two sides."

That's clear here. We don't know what financial discussions were held when Kaep worked out with teams in the past two years and many other things. And, in the spirit if not the letter of the non-disclosure agreement Kaep and his co-plaintiff Eric Reid accepted in their lawsuit against the NFL on his lawsuit, we may never know.

The last couple of years have made clear that Kaep still isn't a bad capitalist outside the NFL. And ... the question about whether people are good capitalists at that level remains open.

So, for the rest of this year, and into 2020, when a starting quarterback goes down, or several do at once, the "Sign Kaep" cries will pop back up.

And Kaep will make sure there's no realistic contract put in front of him. Works for both him and the 30 teams of the league both. Their GMs and owners don't have to worry about the slim chance of Kaep outshining a back-burner QB. Some fans even applaud them. Financial books stay closed. Nike stock and Kaep products shoot up. And ... the question about whether people are good capitalists at that level remains open.

So, any time a QB gets injured, the "Sign Kaep" outrage machine gins up, Nike's cash registers ring, so do Kaep's with his royalties money, and so do Mark Geragos' if he gets a cut of Kaep's royalties.

This may die out Jan. 20, 2021, or it may take longer, if you catch my drift.

There ARE other grifting options

It's clear that Tom Brady's TB12 quackery is reaching its point of no return, when Tommy Boy skips out on parts of repeated practice days and flat-out admits he's no spring chicken.

Think about the void to be filled. #TakeAKnee glucosamine plus secret sauce for arthritis. #TakeAKnee painkillers to go with.

And, I mean, Nike in general is dumb enough to be missing a huge boat on sports nutrition and supplements.

That's just off the top of my head.

Instead of Chanel No. 5, there's Kaep No. 7 cologne, isn't there?

Update: And, what about those Uyghurs?

Erm, Kaep, does social justice stop at home?

Bob Costas, who in 2019 saluted Kaep and called out NFL hypocrisy, much more recently turned the tables and called out Kaep. Costas, a straight shooter who called out gun violence on halftime of a Monday Night Football game, knows his stuff. As for the provenance of that second link? Even though the Costas interview was on CNN, Google didn't show me any non-wingnut media embedding the video and doing a text extraction — and that includes CNN!