When you don't have parents anymore.
My mom died in her sleep last Friday night. (Dad died a little less than three years ago.)
With both my mom and dad, I had a fair degree of "distance," in different ways with each one, of which I became more aware, even much more aware, after I went through some adult life changes of my own, and tried to "connect" with both of them on more than the relatively surface level and layers of childhood and early adulthood.
Even though no "breakthroughs" happened with either parent, there's still plenty of emotion, starting with the regrets over those breakthroughs not happening, and going on from there.
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