OK, I confess — the Corgan check is in the mail; I’m on the payroll to pass the Lancaster School District bond election

I know that sooner or later, I’d be found out as being on the Corgan Schools architectural firm payroll anyway, having taken its cash to support the Lancaster School District bond election as I infer that some people are insinuating. (That editorial I wrote in my newspaper this week against the bond? A clever smoke screen, to throw people off the trail. Obviously, though, some people, with better investigative skills than mine, sharp enough to see that an architectural firm that does not headquarter in Lancaster, Texas, is a threat to the free world and the future of Jeffersonian democracy in Lancaster, have smoked me out, even though they apparently haven’t gotten their political action committee registered with the state of Texas yet.)

So, I’ll just ’fess up now and say that that autographed check for $10,000 from Don Burleson is on its way. Especially since it’s the first of five installments, I should have known better than to try to hide it.

I had to do it, because Today Newspapers couldn’t pay me the money to learn how to use the Internets, or understand what “scare quotes” are, or don’t understand the dangerous power of my own rhetoric.

Obviously I called The Allen Group “the savior of Lancaster” somewhere in an issue of my paper, too, rather than simply factually reporting about their land development plans, and forgot about it, so I need the Corgan money to stock up on ginko, or get an fMRI or whatever.

(Somebody else, though, forgot HTML links to that “thorough” Dallas Morning News investigating, even if no Canadian financing was turned up. This must be an example of in-depth news reporting digging much more thoroughly than I ever did. A quote from John Wiley Price, who would be upset primarily if his favored minority vendors weren’t getting more, is the only thing I might not have had. Herb Booth does dig in such depth as to quote Jeff Melcher’s favorite Lancaster resident, Ellen Clark, though, so he must be far superior to me.)

No, I don’t that ginko.

I need to go gallivanting out to the Pacific Northwest again so I can write haiku.

Of course, that was part of the conspiracy, Jeff; that’s where I signed the contract to get on the Corgan payroll.

That’s why I was in such a gallivanting mood when I got back. Until I discovered that the whole plan was falling to the crack surveillance of people at whose powers I can only stand back in awe. That includes their snark powers, with which I obviously cannot keep up.

These people, despite me not directly talking to them, obviously can’t stop impressing on me that they’ve lifted the lid off of the conspiracy (yes, that’s what a hidden plot is) for Canadian dollars to dominate Lancaster (NOBODY was supposed to know that Corgan staff met with the Canadian Finance Minister up in Ottawa last month), abetted by the Corgan sell-out to nefarious foreign nationals.

I may not know how to use the Internets; my snark factor may stand second to someone else’s brilliance.

But, Jeff, I know conspiracy thinking when I see it. And, no, not just me thinks that way among people who have already seen or heard about that letter. Want me to mail you a mirror? Or, do you want more from other people after they read that letter?