May 03, 2016

Hillary Clinton cabinet unveiled

Through the power of a mix of Wikileaks and a still-craptacularly-unsecured Democratic National Committee data server, I've been able to uncover just who Hillary Clinton will have in her Cabinet.

Chief of staff: Huma Abedin

Secretary of State: Henry Kissinger's cloned stem cells

Secretary of Treasury: Lloyd Blankfein (actually, sad real rumor has Larry Fink of Black Rock, a man on record as wanting to privatize Social Security)

Chairman of Council of Economic Advisors: Paul Krugman, a man who started in government in Reagan's CEA, in case you didn't know

Secretary of Defense: Peter Daou

National Security Adviser: Bibi Netanyahu

Secretary of Education: Deray McKesson

"Drug czar": Mark Kleiman, who only wants drugs legal if he can neoliberally protect the poor from themselves

New Cabinet position, with multiple heads

Secretary of Neoliberal Identity Politics: Cory Booker

Clinton Youth (think 1933): Julian Castro; or was that Raul Castro?

A few other non-Cabinet rank, but important positions?

Communications director/press secretary: David Brock

Leader of faith-based programs: Bill Clinton (think about the laying on of hands)

This will be updated in the future.

1 comment:

PDiddie said...

Lawd I wish I could laugh about it.