February 07, 2014

Rand Paul thinks putting a squirrel on your head makes you presidential

Rand Paul and his pet hairpiece, Squirrel!
Apologies to Cal Worthington and his pet Spot.
Kentucky's very junior US Senator also thinks if the Republican Party would just embrace libertarianism, it might help the party, and help him get elected president.

They're about equally credible, right? So, the Snooze just got the wrong headline, and I'm helping out.

Of course, Paul's "libertarianism" doesn't extend to reproductive choice. It doesn't extend to religious freedom, including freedom from religion for we secularists, given that he's accused President Obama of a "war on  Christianity." (In reality, since Obama has actually expanded Shrub's office of faith-based initiatives, if it's a war, he's already surrendered.) Nor does it extend to people of color, of course, since those nasty civil rights bills conflict with Paul's ideas of pure, Randian libertarianism.

Try getting a better squirrel, Rand. Maybe that will work. Just don't go to New Hampshire during squirrel-hunting season.

I've said it before and I'll say it again — there's only been one true libertarian elected from the GOP in the last 20 years. It's not Rand Paul. It's not Ron Paul. It's former New Mexico governor Gary Johnson, who neither wears a squirrel on his head nor publishes racialist newsletters.

Seriously, dude. Doesn't your $174K per year, plus any self-licensing optometry work you still do, buy a better squirrel? Maybe not. Look at Donald Trump.

"Alex, I'll take 'Republican presidential candidates with bad hair' for $1,000, please!"

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