Smokey Joe - what a gas

“Councilman, we’ve been here 45 minutes. You STILL (ahem, clearing throat) have time to change your vote.”

Somehow, I don’t think Joe Tillotson, mayor of Lancaster, Texas, or any of the city’s mayors pro tem, have ever conducted a vote like this.

I’ve only covered city council and school board meetings in two of Today Newspapers’ primary coverage area). However, I’m sure none of the mayors in this area, dissatisfied with the results of a close vote, refuses to recognize that vote as final and instead, leaves the ordinance, resolution or whatever is at hand out on the table, and says, in essence, “We’re not moving on until somebody changes his or her mind — and vote.”

Mayor Tillotson might find himself afoul of the city council’s code of ethics.

However, if your name is Joe Barton, you’re a Republican congressman, and you’ve got your hands in the pockets of Big Oil for campaign cash, while they’ve got their hands in your pockets for unspecified favors in return, you can do things like this, to make those favors concrete.

And, since Tom DeLay, et al, have shown the current Congressional Republican leadership doesn’t have a code of ethics, you have nothing to run afoul of.

Because this did happen Oct. 7.

Joe Barton, taking advantage of a country willing to open both governmental and private checkbooks and write blank checks for anything, as long as the magic word “Katrina” is somewhere on the dotted line, decided to write one of those blank checks for his friends in Big Oil.

Literally.

Barton decided that Congress needed to pass a bill that would not only allow big oil companies to bypass a bunch of environmental legislation in building new refineries, but would actually pay them for their troubles if they ran into any state- or local-level opposition on the way to building those new plants.

Literally.

The bill says: “Under a contract authorized under this section, the Secretary (of Energy) shall pay — (A) in the case of a delay described in paragraph (2)(A), all costs of the delay in the initial commercial operation of a new refining or a refurbished refinery, including the principal or interest due on any debt obligation of the new refinery or of the refurbished refinery during the delay, and any consequential damages; and (B) in the case of a substantial reduction described in paragraph (2)(B), all costs necessary to offset the costs of the reduced throughput and the costs of complying with the new State or Federal law or regulations.”

Not just in part. “All costs” in startup delay. Interest included.

TXI is probably saying to itself, “Gee, can we get something like this written for us, Joe? Just insert the words ‘cement plant’ anywhere the word ‘refinery’ occurs, and we’ll be happy.”

More seriously, I don’t know if TXI wants in the refinery business, but who knows? Maybe they’re thinking diversification. If not TXI, it could be somebody else. And if not in Midlothian, it could be somewhere else not too far south of the Dallas County line.

And, speaking of location, location, location, another provision in Barton’s Oil Incentive Loot (BOIL) tells the greater Dallas area, in short, “Keep polluting, and I’ll keep cutting you more slack to meet federal Clean Air Act requirements.”

Now, if that isn’t the double whammy. The Dallas metropolitan area is told to pollute away, while the congressman just south of Dallas tells Big Oil, “Build a dirty refinery and send me the bill.”

Can we say, Downwinders at Risk, squared?

And, those 45 minutes?

The bill, as normal in the House of Representatives, had a five-minute voting window. At the end of those five minutes, it had been defeated by two votes, 212-210.

Did I say “defeated”? How preliminary of me.

GOP House leadership kept the vote open for nearly 45 minutes while twisting arms (and probably threatening to crack skulls, too). Finally, a couple of theoretically more moderate Republicans flipped, and Smokey Joe had a brand new baby Big Oil bill.

Well, this baby still has to pass the Senate, so it may ultimately go nowhere. There’s usually a bit more decorum — and ethics — on that side of the hall.

And, we haven't even touched the sarcastic light fantastic, that Smokey Joe's bill, the Gasoline for America's Security Act, is a GAS act flatuated by a gasbag.

Adapted from my Oct. 13 Today Newspapers column.