SocraticGadfly: Dusty Baker is worried about his poor widdle Cheating Astros being hurt

February 15, 2020

Dusty Baker is worried about
his poor widdle Cheating Astros being hurt

New Cheating Astros manager Dusty Baker has already asked MLB to be extra vigilant about beanballs being thrown at his unapologetic players this year.

That's after Ross Stripling of the ripped off/choking Dodgers has said it's already crossed his mind with the Indians Mike Clevenger kind of leaning that way, and Reds free thinker Trevor Bauer has said of the the hypocrites that "I'll never let them forget."

Indeed, we should not.

Besides, there are many things opposing players, and opposing management, can do besides beanballs.

For example, in honor of Jose Altuve? "Restaurant Buzzer Night" giveaway. Make sure those first 10,000 fans get extra loud buzzers.

Turn off the hot water in the visitors' clubhouse.

Spike the water for the visitors with ExLax.

Speaking of spiking? Going back to deadball days, first basemen on visiting teams could get their spikes extra sharp. Easy to "accidentally" step on someone's foot on a close play.

Or, since many people think Altuve rooked Yankee Aaron Judge out of an MVP? Baseball rules about takeout slides aside, when the Astros play the Yankees, when the Yankees are at bat, if Judge gets on first base, if I'm Altuve, I ain't resting easy at second. Or, when Altuve is at bat, catcher Gary Sanchez could make his throws back to the mound come pretty close to Jose. (Mark May 15-17 Houston and Sept. 21-24 New York, right in a pennant race, on your calendar. Sadly, neither in regular season nor spring training, do the Astros play the Dodgers this year, so Cody Bellinger or teammates can't get on-field revenge. But Stripling was traded from the Dodgers to the Angels, AL West rivals of the Astros. Getcha popcorn!

Speaking of, on Monday, Mike Trout went off. So, let's just turn Trout lose in the Astros dugout to kick ass and take numbers.

Other than Altuve, the basically unbelievable Carlos Correa is probably also high on other teams' payback list.

Baker himself played the game for years back in the old days. I'm sure he can think of plenty of other paybacks, that will be hell.

That and more? The players will have earned it. Former Astro Tony Kemp says he refused to participate. So, any current or former from 2017 Astros who haven't said that? Per the old cliche, silence gives assent.

So, take to heart the three letters at left. And take to heart a friendly reminder that you haven't won a non-cheating pro sports title in Helltown for 25 years and counting.

That said, this in part continues to be Rob Manfred's fault for not punishing active players. And, to the degree that players union head Tony Clark, if contacted by Manfred, resisted such ideas, also his fault. Besides CBA issues for the next players contract, I'll bet players union meetings in months ahead are kind of heated at times on this issue.

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