Sen. Charles Perry ... the jokes write themselves for the #txlege

Alana, from her
Twitter feed

Was he thinking that "Alana," the stripper who has filed the restraining order against him, was on the other side of the Red rather than the Rio Grande, and thus an illegal immigrant?

UPDATE: I have a more serious take on the matter here. "Alana," actually named Cyndi Ortiz, is a serious political operative, with teaparty connections. I don't know what fire is behind the smoke, but some kind if it is.

As I Tweeted her, does "restraining order" have more than a legal meaning?

@TipAStripper Did Sen. Perry ask you about reproductive health? Abstinence-based sex ed? Restraining order? Does he like being restrained?

— SocraticGadfly (@SocraticGadfly) May 13, 2015

Turns out, as she responded:

@SocraticGadfly Hahaha!!

— Alana (@TipAStripper) May 13, 2015

Meanwhile, what is sexual fun without a three-way?

Does this relate to Breitbart alumni secretly taping Texas House members, discussed in more depth by Perry? Even more, does it relate to Lite Guv Dan Patrick knowing about said taping and not telling anybody, because it was only about the House, not the Senate?

Well, what better way to start that conversation than on Twitter, eh? Here we go:

@TipAStripper One more question, re this "investigation." Any idea that @DanPatrick knew about you, @electcharles and "restraints"?

— SocraticGadfly (@SocraticGadfly) May 13, 2015

("ElectCharles" is Perry's Twitter account.)

IF he wasn't researching reproductive health or abstinence-based sex ed?

Well, the Texas Senate wants to lower property taxes before sales taxes — maybe "the other Perry" is checking out Oklahoma vs Texas strip club property tax rates, complete with "personal property" vs. "real property."

And, per Alana's "Tip a Stripper" Twitter handle, did he leave a big one? Take that any way you want. I won't even talk about deep probes or anything else. Honest!

And, yes, I don't get this blatantly snarky for a whole blog post.

But, there are exceptions to every rule.

Especially when you have a hypocritical yahoo posing as a champion of Christian values.

On the other hand, given Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker, maybe he IS a champion of Christian values.

Meanwhile, there's a serious side to this. In response to my Tweet mentioning Dan Patrick, Alana said:

@SocraticGadfly Patrick kept tweet bothering me today. I finally blocked him. Whats up with these guys? never seen a stripper before??

— Alana (@TipAStripper) May 13, 2015

Very interesting.

And, just to be sure, she confirms it's him:

@SocraticGadfly Yes Dan Patrick. Kept tweeting stuff out to my handle this morning. I just blocked him

— Alana (@TipAStripper) May 13, 2015

What a sack o shite. (That said, I've gone through Patrick's feed; I can't confirm this. They could have been direct messages — wouldn't that been interesting — or public messages later deleted, but I can't confirm it.)

And, Alana, if people will get over their prudishness, at least on initial impression, seems like far more of a real person than either Patrick or Perry.

But, back to the issue at hand. Does Alana's possible misstatement about Patrick's "tweet bothering" undermine her credibility in general?

Not yet, at least. We don't know exactly what the Texas Rangers are investigating. Until someone associates $$$ with her name, then extortion ideas are off the table. Anyway, here's the page of her making the request for restraining order.

Is this possible, otherwise? I just mentioned two fallen preachers. How about I throw in Trey Radel?

Update: More seriously, Cyndi Ortiz is a former political consultant, from Lubbock but working in Austin. That said, a Texas winger commentator, former Lubbock County GOP chair, says he blocked Ortiz in the past from emailing him. Won't say why but invites speculation.

Fine, mine's funnier speculation than Pratt's at least.

On the other hand, Perry's spokescritter says this is not her first false accusation against Perry, and that he's not been her only target.

On the third hand, maybe Perry has harassed her more than once.

On the fourth hand, LinkedIn says she ran the MacDaddy Campaign Network, apparently out of her own house. (Insert jokes here; sorry, Cyndi, but I'm an equal offender jokester.)

On the fifth hand, she appears to have done some sort of legit work. And, sorry Dems, it was teaparty-favoring, per this letter. Mucus, Peggy Venable, David Barton, other "heavy hitters" in that crowd, are co-signers.

And, she did $200 of presumably legit campaign work for Odessa's Randy Rives, a perennial candidate for various state offices, the Texas Ethics Commission reports. It also says she contributed in the past to Lubbock Area Republican Women.

She's now saying that she doesn't necessarily agree with all views of clients. That doesn't answer her campaign contributions, nor her name on that teaparty letter.