January 07, 2014

The Velveeta is Too Damn Scarce in a #cheesepocalypse #fail

Image of food-like substance at The Consumerist.
Pardon me for not being sufficiently alarmed that we might (or might not) be facing a shortage of a food-like substance that might (or might not) be artificially ginned up by Kraft just in time for the Super Bowl.

Curious how there's no shortage of actual cheese, isn't it? Curious how there's also no reported shortage of generic Velveeta.

Both the Yahoo story above and The Consumerist, which led me to it, note that ginned-up food shortages around times of their highest purchase, aren't new.

But, just to prove this intersection of cheap economic manipulation is exactly that, there's only one person right for the job.

Matt Yglesias, author of a book-like substance called "The Rent is Too Damn High."

"The Velveeta is Too Damn Scarce!" Matt Yglesias journeys into the heartland to look for Sons of the Boboes, singing "Vibrating Velveetawurst" and looking for Trigger's remains. Oh, and he uncovers David Brooks' still half-smoked joint. Brooks, unlike Clinton, did inhale. But, when he realized that Boboes' dime bags always cost less than $10, he promptly put the joint back down and walked away.

More seriously? Yglesias really cares about as much about service workers as Kraft does about making real cheese and Brooks does about talking about real people. And, as for the "Sons" part? Maybe Brooksie did something after that joint toke that we don't know about. I mean, put a beard on him, and put him next to Matty Y and ???

God, I love the look of being snarky to multiple entities in the afternoon! Thanks, Lt. Col. Kilgore.

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