June 01, 2013

How to get your free lifetime #NRA membership

Want a free lifetime membership to the National Rifle Association? (Or Nazi Redneck A**holes, or however else some people may abbreviate it?)

Well, you can do what this 8-year-old did: shape a Pop-Tart into a gun-like shape, then bring it to school and get suspended. (Oh, and as part of being a good junior NRAer, like the kid, be sure to lie about what you've been doing.)

That said, this made me think of other ways for me, as an adult, to save $550 and get this free life membership.

If I pointed a real gun, loaded with real bullets, at Wayne LaPierre, would I get the free lifetime NRA membership? And, should I start a Kickstarter drive to go my bail, in case I ponder this more?

Or, since the the NRA held its most recent convention in Texas, a concealed carry state, shouldn't I have gotten a free lifetime NRA membership for packing a couple of Glocks into the convention under a suit coat, if I had done so?

Or will sending ricin-laden threatening letters to either New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg or President Barack Obama do the trick?

It would be nice if the NRA would tell we, the people exactly what special acts will get us those free lifetime memberships.

And, if not free memberships, maybe coupons and discounts?

"Carry a gun to your son's Little League game, and submit photo proof with this coupon, and get half off your NRA lifetime membership fee."

"Give your daughter a gun to take to show-and-tell day at school. Submit note from her teacher with this coupon, and get half off your NRA lifetime membership fee."

Now, the actual story. Should a kid then 7, now 8, have been suspended over this?

I am agreed that the suspension probably is dumb. Agreed that zero tolerance ideas can be dumb, and that there's far dumber ones than this. That said, post-Boston bombing (and all its hysteria), and post-Newtown shooting, if the parents knew, there's simply no excuse. Zero tolerance may be dumb, but it is what is is, and post-Newtown, parents simply have to know it My other thought is make the parents go to school with the kid for two days. So, short of forcing parents to go to school with their kids, the suspension isn't ideal, but it's not something from hell, either. Sadly, per this paragraph, it's in part about trying to punish the parents via the kid. If making parents sit in a classroom isn't doable, why not fine them or something?

And, this applies to no-tolerance rules in general. They're ultimately targeting the parents, via the children. I'm all for better ways of targeting the parents, that put children less in the line of fire. And, when that's done, I'm in favor of making sure the targeting does not get selectively pointed at poor or minorities.

But, this blog post is mainly about attacking the NRA, and a state legislator for being such an NRA gun nut as to so blatantly politicize this issue. Let's focus on that.

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