"I'm Rick Perry and ... "

Having seen the "Strong" video and a few parodies, I'm going to riff on some words-only parodies of my own.

1. I'm Rick Perry and I'm a "top."
2. I'm Rick Perry and I'm a "bottom."
3. I'm Rick Perry now; soon, I'll be Melanie Perry.
4. I'm Rick Perry, you're not, and you're probably glad as hell.
5. I'm Rick Perry, and you should know three things about me. I'm Republican, I'm governor, and, and, and ... dammit, what was No. 3?
6. I'm Rick Perry, but I play Kay Bailey Hutchison on TV.
7. I'm Rick Perry, and I'm running for sexual spymaster.
8. I'm Rick Perry; don't let Roger Williams see this gay-bashing ad. Tell him I'll make it up to him later.

And, in a case of poetic justice mixed with wingnut idiocy and moral blindness, apparently a gay Jew, Aaron Copeland, wrote the music for Perry's ad.