Bitchslap time for Joel Osteen’s wife

The lawsuit by Continental Airlines flight attendant Sharon Brown against Victoria Osteen, wife of the Houston megachurch preacher, is expected to go to trial, with opening arguments today.

To refresh your memory, here’s the background behind Osteen’s alleged assault of Brown:

The misunderstanding occurred when the Osteens boarded the first-class cabin and Victoria Osteen noticed a liquid spill on her seat. She asked one flight attendant to clean it, but the attendant was unable to do so at the time because passengers were boarding. Osteen then asked another flight attendant. That attendant was also busy and instead gave Osteen napkins to clean it herself.

What happened next differs depending on who's telling the tale. According to two written complaints filed by the attendants to union officials, Osteen became angry and barged toward the cockpit saying that she “wanted to speak to someone in charge.” One attendant tried to stop her and she pushed the attendant aside, according to the reports. A second attendant stepped forward and Osteen grabbed that attendant by the wrist and engaged in an argument outside of the cockpit

Touching a flight attendant is a federal offense, according to the Federal Aviation Administration. Iloff said that he didn't know if Osteen had touched the attendant.

Osteen was removed from the aircraft and her husband and two children accompanied her. For nearly two hours, the flight waited at the gate as the Osteens' bags were removed. The family later took a chartered Continental flight to Vail, according to a source within the flight attendants union.

Note: No federal charges have been filed in the incident. But, there’s more:

On the Lakewood Church website, Victoria wrote a letter to members calling the incident a “minor misunderstanding” and saying that it was her choice to deplane.

Ahh, let’s compound uppityness with a hypocritical lie.

On the other hand, Brown is coming off looking like a gold-digger with asking for 10 percent of Victoria Osteen’s net worth.

Hell, put the two of them in mud or a Jell-O pit, and have two out of three takedowns, or let jurors judge it on style points.

Better yet, since Rusty Hardin is Victoria Osteen’s attorney, can he get Roger Clemens in there as a character witness? Unless, of course, Roger the Dodger has eyes for any underage Osteen daughters.