Janis Joplin sings a Mercedes river for Harris sheriff Ed Gonzalez

With a hat tip to and bit of inspiration from Grits for Breakfast (see my comments there) I have adapted and expanded a poem of his about Harris County jailhouse overcrowding, to be sung to the tune of, and based off the lyrics of, Janis Joplin’s “Mercedes Benz.”

Sheriff, can’t you buy you some jailhouse law friends?

Your inmates run over, you must make amends.

Crime keeps dropping, but the cops make busts again.

Sheriff, can’t you buy you some jailhouse law friends?

My cousin the jailer says staffing is low.

The state is concerned, but it don’t really show.

COVID stopped trials so confinees can’t go.

You won’t let them out til they give you some dough.

Sheriff, can’t you buy you some jailhouse law friends?

Your inmates run over, you must make amends.

Crime keeps dropping, but the cops make busts again.

Sheriff, can’t you buy you some jailhouse law friends?

Kim Ogg got her sued as a bailing hard ass.

After her losing, she left you a morass.

But, it’s not all her, I won’t give you a pass.

Fess up, man up, give me no lies and no sass.

Sheriff, can’t you buy you some jailhouse law friends?

Your inmates run over, you must make amends.

Crime keeps dropping, but the cops make busts again.

Sheriff, can’t you buy you some jailhouse law friends?