Don't you wish you could have awakened this morning and discovered that:
1. The entire 2016 GOP presidential campaign were just a dream?
2. Democratic superdelegates didn't exist?
3. Huckleberry J. Butchmeup were honest with himself? Even more, don't you wish that honesty included Trey ("Benghazi") Gowdy?
4. That the snacks had run out at Malheur NWR and the Ammonites jamokes had started a Donner Party with each other?
5. That we had real multiparty parliamentary democracy at the national level?
Unfortunately, the April Fools yolks is on We the People.
1. The Republican Party still has an asinine campaign populated with asinine candidates.
2. The Democratic party is still beholden to establishmentarian hacks for whom every election day is Groundhog Day with the shadow of a mythical strawman version of George McGovern looming.
3. Huckleberry is still in his GOP burrow, having not entered the Log Cabin.
4. The Ammonites are fat and sassy, albeit jailed.
5. The so-called "cradle of democracy" isn't. It's more like the "baby-strangler of democracy."
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