March 09, 2015

Secret protocol in GOP letter to Iran revealed!

Ted Cruz, the Havana Ham
J. Scott Applewhite/AP
Everybody who keeps up on hot and stupid political news knows that 47 GOP Senate wingnuts sent a letter to Iran's mullahs saying that  future GOP administration would not necessarily be legally bound by any Team Obama deal with Iran on nuclear enrichment, and that the current Senate wouldn't consider it binding unless formally approved like a treaty.

Setting aside, for wingnuts, the fact that GOP president, including the guy named Shrub, have done similar, and for some butt-hurt liberals, the fact that the Logan Act has been in the past interpreted by the State Department as not applying to Congress, and this letter is little more than 47 petulant children holding their breath.

Speaking of, the secret protocol goes into that in more detail.

Here it is:

Dear Mad Mullahs:

This is Sen. Ted Cruz, and you don't know who you're messing with.

I have singlehandedly shut down the government of the United States in the past, and at other times, forced Congress to bend to my theocratic, Daddy-instilled Reconstructionist will. You cannot, repeat, cannot, survive a battle of the minds with me, and I will be the next president of the United States if I have to hold my breath for 22 months.

I and my colleagues are the Tea Party Council of the Senate of the United States. I and my fellows are more than a match for Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei and the Guardian Council of Iran. We can out-stubborn you, out-intransigence you and even out-stupid you.

I personally have jammed up machinery far more complex than the centrifuges taken down by Stuxnet. Do not doubt me!

And, I have The Power! I shall cover you with the dust of the ashes of a red heifer if you do not submit. I will bring on the New Jerusalem and replace you with Cyrus, King of Kings, who shall bow and worship in the Most Holy Place.

Ted Cruz

Chairman, Tea Party Council of the Senate of the United States

And, that's how 47 Senators expect to have Ali Khamenei quaking in his boots.

Meanwhile, speaking of mad mullahs, Ayatollah Khamenei and the Guardian Council, Iran's Foreign Minister Javad Zarif may be having fun trolling the Senate GOP over international law, but ignores those "logs" in his own government's eye.

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