SocraticGadfly: Instead of knitting for Hillary Clinton, here are 12 other post-political jobs that #Hillbots should think are just great

December 28, 2017

Instead of knitting for Hillary Clinton,
here are 12 other post-political jobs
that #Hillbots should think are just great

Since Hillary Clinton won't go away — despite Al Gore accepting his much-more-cheated loss with better grace, and Mitt Romney, John Kerry, and John McCain moving on more smoothly — and writing a fictional memoir about why she lost, some people have been trying to help her.

But, for many Hillbots, any suggestion she move along is unacceptable.

So unacceptable that Clintonista wingnuts (sic — you're getting enough like the Right) Tom Watson, Peter Daou and others) claim Vanity Fair's "knitting" video is not just unacceptable, it's sexist.

(The reality, of course, is that the actual sexists are the vag-hat #StillWithHer folks. First, they ignore that a woman made the "knitting" comment. Second, they perpetuate a boatload of stereotype in insinuating that only women knit. Or sew. Or cross-stitch. Or quilt.)

But, we can do better than that.

And shall.

People who know the history of Hillary Clinton, sometimes solo, sometimes in tag team with Bill, should easily get the references. To help out those who do not, I've provided some helpful links, etc.

1. Commodities futures trader, preferably in cattle futures, as we know her skill there. (See "Luck be a lady.") Let the SEC thoroughly reinvestigate her former luck while she applies for licensing.

2. Certified nursing assistant, any rural clinic in Haiti. (See "Wiper of other people's bottoms," from "Monty Python and the Holy Cholera Clinic," as co-produced by Tony Rodham.)

3. Death penalty administrator, state of Arkansas. (See "Rector, Ricky.")

4. Post-coup Honduran peasant.

5. Libyan slave market participant. And, yes, you can take "participant" in that way. (See neoconservative + neoliberal combined intervention clusterfuck.)

6. Baker of cookies — for funerals of military children of Gold Star parents, or at the funeral of Honduran activist Berta Cáceres.

7. Uranium miner in the Southwest — with Frank Giustra, along with other grifting, having sold workers' protection to Rosatom so she could work like a 1950s Navajo.

8. Donald Trump's Citizenship and Immigration Services assistant commissioner, Kenyan births division.

9. Walmart third-shift floor stocker. (See "Rose Law Firm.")

10. Teacher's aide, majority-minority Little Rock school. (See "Arkansas education reform.")

11. Gas mask tester, Syrian White Helmet video outtakes.

12. Lena Dunham's bottom-line tour gofer.

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