December 03, 2014

Deep Thoughts: Greg Abbott and Barack Obama

Greg Abbott, throwing "words" against a posterboard.
So, Gov-elect Strangeabbott is going to meet Dear Leader face-to-face at the White House on Friday.

I'm assuming Abbott is not quite crass enough to present a new lawsuit against Obama in person, but you never know.

He has now filed suit over Obama's immigration actions.

Will he bring a copy of that sign? Or at least spit its words out of his mouth, verbatim? Will he ask for some sort of Texas exemption from the Americans with Disabilities Act?

Of course, that's just the start of a whole series of rhetorical questions.

Will he try to outscholar our Constitutional.Law.Scholar.™president? (Not that either of them actually is, of course.)

Will Obama crack some Rick Perry jokes with him?

Will Obama explain that the Administrative Procedure Act means nothing like what Abbott wishes it meant, and that, based on Abbott's pollution related losses to Obama in SCOTUS earlier this year, he should know that?

Will Obama then remind Abbott in person that Obama punked him on other environmental cases? (And thus he has more reason for knowing what the APA means.)

Will Abbott try to "accidentally" run over Obama with his wheelchair?

Will Obama ask him what he thinks about Scott Panetti?

If so, will Abbott ask him back, based on his Illinois state senate days, if he still supports the death penalty himself?

Will Obama bluntly ask him something like, "Do you really believe all the stupidity you spout, Greg?"

Will Strangeabbott then actually start to get up out of his wheelchair in an attempt to punch out Obama?

Will Obama then threaten to keep drones permanently over the Texas governor's mansion?

Of course, that's assuming Abbott gets inside the White House.

"Sorry, Greg, that the Belgian Malinois dogs went a bit rough on you. You know the Secret Service has been under fire for being lax on presidential protection. Presidential Detail asked for a few items of clothing from somebody to upgrade the dogs' training, and ... well, you know how it goes."

"Yes, I do, Mr. President. These California campaign supporters (shh, I told the Texas Ethics Commission they were Texas donors) mailed me all these boxes of "Abortion Barbies" and I had to figure out what to do with them."

"Oh, please, call me 'Hussein.' You know you want to, just once. But — never in public!"

"Yeah, I have wanted to say it — 'Hussein, Hussein, Hussein!' Damn, that feels good."

"Thanks, Greg, that's all we need to confirm your voice recognition patterns for the National Security Agency. It's been a pleasure to meet you and do a little business today."

And, per the first story link, will the Austin American Statesman ever let Jonathan Tilove write columns as snarky as this?


PDiddie said...

Frankly I just hope the Secret Service 'accidentally' tumps him over.

Gadfly said...

Prolly a good Secret Service incompetence joke in there somewhere, too.