April 25, 2014

Texas GOP discusses Cliven Bundy

Texas Republican leaders were quick to defend Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, even before the librul media called him "sort of a welfare queen in a cowboy hat."

Rick Perry said that he couldn't say much of anything, on advice of counsel retained over the Public Integrity Unit veto, lest he be misinterpreted as intimidating somebody.

Ted Cruz said that the Bureau for Land Management reminded him of Castro's Cuba and therefore it was socialistic for trying to deny Bundy the right to freely appropriate land in the most libertarian of ways, by paying nothing for it. As for Bundy's talk about lazy Negros vs. hard-working Hispanics with better family structures than many whites, Cruz said, "Duh, look at me!"

John Cornyn said what Ted Cruz said because, per Lyndon Baines Johnson, Cornyn has voluntarily put his pecker in Cruz's pocket.

Louie Gohmert said "BLM? Blacklands Management? Black Land Management? Black Lazy Malingerers? Oh, yes, I agree with Bundy."
But he then qualified that, saying Hispanics only pretended to work hard until their first US-born anchor babies arrived.
Greg Abbott tried to claim the BLM was in the process of stealing millions of acres of Texas land when it actually has almost zero land in Texas. He then promised that questions about eminent domain for Keystone XL was just a trick by environmentalists to get him to mention that Earth Day was this week. He claimed that questions about seizure of the YFZ Ranch, knows for its previous fundamentalist Mormon ownwers and their underage marriages, was just a trick to remind people of Ted Nugent and underage girls. He then promised to tell even more lies about the BLM as preparation for his next suit against Obama. When asked about how he could have such apparent double standards, he said it was a dirty liberal trick to talk about him and a  "stand"-ard for anything.

He did add that Bundy was totally right about Hispanics. He said the Mexican-American wife he had recently discovered he had after 30-some years of marriage was proof of that.

Dan Patrick said Bundy was wrong about Hispanics. Although continuing to ignore his own getting some Ill Eagles to do lots of work for cheap, he said he knew that they stink and were contaminating America. Patrick said "no comment" if he had personal knowledge of the "contamination" from contracting venereal disease from a Hispanic.

David Dewhurst said he agreed that Hispanics were hard workers at every country club where he was a member. He said he was unfamiliar with Cliven Bundy, and wondered if he was related to Peg or Al Bundy.

Jerry Patterson promised to defend the Red River against Oklahoma and the BLM with the hogleg in his boot. He then invited Bundy to Texas, as long as he brought all his guns, and said he'd find Bundy land in the Christmas Mountains.

Ken Paxton touted his under-the-table financial genius, saying he would incorporate Bundy's ranch and sell stock to investors.

Joe Straus said to himself that he wished someone would let the air out of Abbott's wheelchair tires.

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