SocraticGadfly: Let's play Swap-A-Commissioner

April 19, 2011

Let's play Swap-A-Commissioner

Oh, what fun this could be.

Here's how it could work.

David Stern moves from the NBA to the NFL. There, fleeing officiating that allegedly gets worse by the playoff series, with accusations of not just badness but favoritism toward or bias against certain teams, along with mid-level franchises like Sacramento moving because they can't compete financially, and a possible owner lockout or player strike ahead, he gets Roger Goodell's problems.

Those include, of course, an actual lockout, concerns over concussions and other injury issues, and a relatively young commissioner still trying to ride herd on some owners.

Stern, probably the most asshat of the big three sports (sit DOWN, NHL) commissioners, would probably love the opportunity to bitch-slap Jerry Jones and Peyton Manning at the same time.

Goodell, whose league has never faced questions about how well it tests for steroids, while many wonder if the concussion problems going all the way back to the 1970s have a steroid connection, gets to go run MLB in place of Bud Selig.

Bud has "faced" steroid issues in baseball ... by not facing them. By so incredibly not facing them that he didn't even mention Barry Bonds by name in a comment about Barry Bonds' trial! Goodell can learn lessons about stonewalling his own sport while relaxing with owners complacent from being chloroformed by a commish who is one of their own.

Selig, as punishment for his denialism, gets to move over to the NBA and try to run a league that's about ready to explode. Besides dodgy reffing and Mr. Donaghy of past infamy being convicted on issues related to game-fixing, you have the possibility of a second lockout or strike in less than 15 years, Sacramento being the third team relocation in five years, Stern's own stupidity in past placement of franchises in Charlotte (twice!), Vancouver (plus relocation to Memphis!) and bringing out five times as many conspiracy theories as Selig and Goodell combined.

Other than realizing how good he has it in baseball, Selig would probably convince NBA players to see what in the way of PED usage they can get away with and how much owners could wink at that. Bud could also give the conference champion from the conference that won the All-Star Game playoff home court advantage. Or, the worst team from the conference that loses gets the No. 1 draft choice! Maybe, in a bit of sports karma, the NBA could even cancel its 2011-12 season. Or maybe Selig could inflict that on the NHL instead.

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