Critiquing Abbott's Phase 1 of 'reopen Texas'

It's due to start tomorrow, but a lot of affected businesses are saying nuh-uh, even as many non-Republicans wonder if part of Gov. Greg Abbott's Monday order was designed to try to push people back to work and off unemployment. (Per the Trib, since unemployment applications are now more restricted, that's official. More here; unless you meet certain specific guidelines, you cannot refuse to go back to work if your business has reopened and expects you.)

Most movie theater chains have already said they're not reopening. Can't blame them. Studios have stopped production on many movies, and those that were already ready for release have been, if hot properties, sent direct to streaming video, prompting a battle between AMC and Universal.

Most chain restaurants say 25 percent indoor service isn't enough to make a profit, or even enough to have less of a loss than they are right now. Plus, trying to push waitstaff back to work? If they all go back to work, they're fighting for 25 percent of tip money.

Meanwhile, exercise buffs say, why can't I go to a gym where either I or staff can disinfect equipment between uses? It sounds reasonable, and it would probably be easier for a gym than a restaurant or theater to limit patronage.

Speaking of?

How do restaurants and theaters enforce this? Do they call the cops if they see potential gate-crashing?

In Georgia, the iconic Waffle House taped over two of each three stools, on counter seating. Tables are movable, if you have room to stack 3/4 of them, and that looks kind of ugly. Booths aren't movable, and it looks ugly, albeit necessary, albeit pricey for that amount of plastic, to cover an entire booth, or three out of every four.

I suspect most restaurants, as well as theaters, will simply wait until May 18.

Abbott's "50 percent provision," that allows counties with five or fewer cases to go direct to 50 percent occupancy, has slipshod language, especially for him being a lawyer.

It says they can do this with "five or fewer laboratory-confirmed cases." Missing? The word "active." DSHS says it means active, but still.

In any case? None of this will address the implosion in the oil patch, anyway. And nothing will address its hit on the budget except a special session of the Texas Legislature in this banana republic.

And, contra the #MAGAs, or since were in Texas, the Death Panels Danny Goeb stanners, none of this can force companies to reopen.

Besides the logistics issues, I'm sure they're looking at a state that is ahead of only Virginia (astounding, considering how much of Virginia is metro DC and rich) and Kansas in testing rates, and they're probably also looking at a governor who has lied almost as much and in almost as Hitlerian of fashion (so sue me on Godwin's Law) as Trump on testing availability.

As the nation passes the 60,000 deaths mark, on the one hand, and with a 17-year-old in Dallas suburb Lancaster dying on the other hand, Texas likely isn't near its peak cases, or deaths, yet.

I don't go out to eat a lot, but there's no way I would go to a restaurant right now.