Mad masklessness: HEB fails (as do Albertson's, Tom Thumb), Kroger passes, as do some others

Update: HEB caved later on Friday, even if its press release was a bit confusing and self-undermining by using the word "expect" after the first "require" — the "expect" being the word I saw first, as HEB's Thursday afternoon PR remained defiant.

First, let me state that within the cult of Texas exceptionalism, there are three sub-cults in the business world, guaranteed. (There were four, but Jethro Jerry Jones' Dallas Cowboys have semi-sucked for so long that Stephen A. Smith's parody of "How 'bout them Cowboys" may be more of a cult in Texas than the real thing.

One? Whataburger. Just watch Twitter light up any time In-n-Out gets mentioned, as I've blogged.

The second? H-E-B, which I've miniblogged in Roundups about the neoliberal "national" magazine of Texas exceptionalism, Texas Monthly.

The third? Bucee's, of course.

Last August, Dan Solomon, who apparently has never met a puff piece he didn't like, did exactly that with HEB. Other stores, like Kroger, also gave employee pay bumps, cut store hours for restocking time, etc. I think Wally was the first on the reduced hours. (Second, Kroger is the only unionized grocery chain in Texas. That's another reason to shop there first.)

Also, in January, Mimi Swartz jumped on the fellation bandwagon, this for Charles Butt himself. (Related? Whether Kroger, HEB, or Wally, I hate any store that calls its employees "partners," unless, at a minimum, they have stock options, or at a maximum, like Winco, they have a direct piece of pie — if it's direct there.)

Now, to HEB's anti-public health stance on masks.

HEB's decision to almost IMMEDIATELY jump on Gov. Abbott's cancelling the state mask mandate smacks to me of maybe expecting this move to happen and definitely wanting it to happen. As of the time of this post, HEB was radio-silent on social media.

Since I live on the north exurban area of the Metroplex, I can't really boycott HEB. But? I can, and will, boycott Central Market. And HEB already knows that.

This San Antonio Current piece, which I saw as the No. 1 Facebook post when searching for HEB's Facebook handle to make sure I tagged it when Kroger announced it would continue requiring masks. The person who posted it was butthurt that the header had the word "bullshit" and also claimed that it was opinion.

Boo-hoo on the first count. Wrong on the second.

As I commented, there was a link in the first paragraph to a previous Current story about HEB employees complaining that the company was telling them to not enforce mask mandates. Facts on the ground, not opinion.

As far as the "bullshit"? It is. It's kabuki theater, as any non-cultist can tell.

HEB didn't respond as to whether it would hire security or how, if anything beyond new signs saying "masks are not required but  ureged" it actually would "urge" anything.

Now, Kroger's statement may in part be kabuki theater PR, seeing HEB get its ass kicked on social media.  After all, it did so itself with "Kroger Andy," as I also blogged last year. 

So? The enemy of my enemy is my friend, first. Second, Kroger waited a full day after the Texas and Mississippi orders to make a statement. Contrast that to HEB.

Besides, Kroger kicked ass on HEB in another way. Its announcement included saying that employees would get a $100 bonus to get vaccinated. Haven't heard that from HEB.

As for the HEB cultists and claiming HEB was so pioneering? More Kabuki theater. The Interwebz says it started requiring masks July 1. BUT that was only AFTER Strangeabbott pulled the teeth from his ordinance, but Bexar County Judge Nelson Wolff then found the "loophole," per this story. And, per this story, it only acted when 85 percent of its stores were under municipal or county mask mandates after other local leaders followed Judge Wolff.

And? Kroger was only three weeks behind with its NATIONWIDE mask mandate.

That didn't stop HEB from, as part of a "stronger" plea to please wear masks, from engaging in this BS:

H-E-B was an early adopter of mask use before any mandates and orders had been passed.

I told HEB on Twitter that, per the above info, it wasn't even a half-truth; it was a 15 percent truth.

(Said "stronger plea" also appears to put the kibosh on a Thursday rumor that HEB would backtrack.)

Speaking of kabuki theater, Strangeabbott's original order became kabuki theater the moment he refused to prosecute anybody (aka Shelley Luther) and refused to let local governments do so.

What this is really all about, beyond Abbott the legalistic hairsplitter arising again with his no-masks order details, to riff on Chris Hooks, is Abbott being afraid of Christofascist Tim Dunn rounding up somebody to primary him. (No, it won't be Danny "Duty to Die" Goeb. Dan Patrick likes the freedom to snipe away from his Lite Guv spot.)

Worse news yet! Strangeabbott said he was originally planning to lift the mandate last month, before the #AbbottBlackout intervened!

(Tom Thumb and parent Albertson's are both going the HEB route, albeit with less public kabuki theater and without being a Texas cult. Wonder how the Texas exceptionalists would play this if it were the other around.) Fortunately, Sprouts and Aldi, along with Target and Costco, have joined Kroger. 

Sadly, D Mag, at that link immediately above, was a sucker for HEB PR, not noting that "expect" is not the same as "require."