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June 22, 2006

What will Isiah Thomas do next, or “Wouldn’t this make a great Onion story, sports division?”

In his first move as the New York Knicks’ combined head coach and general manager, Isiah Thomas announced he was signing himself to a contract to be the Knicks’ new point guard.

Thomas said he hadn’t lost more than half a step from his playing days and promised to bring a new level of competitiveness and smart playmaking to the Knick team.

Thomas signed himself to a seven-year max contract, then announced he was investigating NBA rules to see if he could trade himself to another team.

He was rumored to be looking at the Minnesota Timberwolves’ underachieving center, Michael Olowokandi.

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